By Vikki Wakefield
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Additional resources for All I Ever Wanted
I take some meat from the fridge: unearthly red on the outside, but brown and dead when I cut into it. It smells okay, though. Good enough for a monster. The wood pigeon babies are gone. All that’s left of the nest are a few sticks and strands of cotton wool, like it’s been dismantled. It could have been the wind. I wonder if they were ready to fly, if they’re safe. The doggy-door at the back of the shed is still propped open. If Gargoyle had gone he would have dislodged the stick. I make plenty of noise to let him know I’m coming.
I just wondered, how did you get him to apologise like that? ’ ‘Oh, it wasn’t that hard. ’ I shrug it off. ‘No, really. I need…I mean it must have been…’ I feel an unreasonable anger. She’s so goddamn persistent. ’ ‘No. I mean, I know…No. I try not to listen to what other people say,’ she says, but her gaze skitters away. Her discomfort tells me that she knows. That she wants me to tell her none of it is true. And I can’t. I scrunch my fists and let my usual defensive reaction take over. I open my mouth and the words fly out.
I lift spare towels in the linen cabinet and slide my hand between the spaces. Nothing but apple-scented softness. Of course the package wouldn’t be here. Idiot. I find Kate in the kitchen pouring icy water into glasses. ‘Here,’ she says. ‘It’s boiling out there. ’ ‘She’s going to be very late,’ I lie. ’ God, I sound like a dork. ‘Thanks. Dad didn’t want us growing up in the city any more. Said he wanted us to have a normal childhood, in the suburbs, like he did. ’ ‘So you came here? Safe? ’ ‘I like it here,’ she says, eyes wide.
All I Ever Wanted by Vikki Wakefield